running away

i've just gotten another script for physical therapy, another two months of workin' it. it's a relief to be able to keep going but then it also means more appointments. i'm also finding that writing entries or even just trying to think about writing puts me in a bad head space. but i guess thats one of the reasons i wanted to start this. so i could actually deal with my feelings. i've been working with a therapist doing emdr. which is a very graphic experience. one that was to graphic for me, i only did 3 sessions. i know i need to go back. being a human being and an alcoholic i do not want to go there. i can get so worked up about having to talk about my feelings before i'm even in therapy or meeting with my sponsor. it brings me to tears. i have a big issue with fear, that i'm working on. slowly....