dreaming

when i woke up today my first thought getting up....it's real it isn't a dream. i can feel the metal in my back with every movement. thankfully today i don't think as much of the fall as i used to whenever i move. it still does happen though. seeing the sky for a split second. i can still feel the coldness on my face from the cement. lately my white light experience has been replaying in my mind. which i don't know if it has to do with my sobriety anniversary coming up. so i'm thinking about all that i'm grateful for and then my white light comes to mind. i don't know. somedays, most days it feels like a dream. i don't talk about it that often with people because i think they're tired of hearing about it. so instead it sits in my head all day and rolls around. i wish that it was just a bad dream.